America vs. Russia

The Americans and Russians, at the height of the arms race,
realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were
going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute
with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best
fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be
entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to
lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler
------- in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest
Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest
puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the
milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came
up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its
cage needed steel bars that were three inches thick and nobody
could get near it.
When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a
strange animal. It was a nine-foot long Dachshund. Everyone
felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way
that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian
dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and
wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog
almost completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over
to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund reached out and
consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at
all of the Russian dog.
The Russians came up to the Americans, shaking their heads in
disbelief. `We don't understand how this could have happened.
We had our best people working for five years with the meanest
Doberman and Rottweiler ------- in the world and the biggest,
meanest Siberian wolves."

"That's nothing," an American replied. "We had our best plastic
surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a
Dachshund
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